Monday, March 8, 2010

Coming up on a Century and Why Women Feel the Need to Fix Me

So this is my 97th blog post. I'm going to write a post each day this week until Thursday when, if all goes to plan, I'll have written 100. Huzzah!

I have a favour to ask of you all then. Let me know what you want me to write about please, it would be really cool to hear your ideas. (Also, seeing as there are about three people who actually read this blog anyway, it'll be like a little party).

Until then however, I'll let you in on a little phenomenon that has dogged (or helped) me for the past few years. You see, I come from a city that has a 2:1 ratio of girls to guys, I went to a co-educational school (again full of girls) and my course at uni was about 80% girls, which is a big huzzah for all the sisters out there who claim that the legal profession is sexist. Put simply, I've always had quite a high proportion of female friends, and they've always tried to fix me.

Now, 'fix' implies 'broken', or as some of the ladies would imply, merely sprained. No matter what way you act, dress, romanticise or cook, one of them will come up with suggestions.

The best by far was a girl called Nadia. N is a friend from uni who I haven't seen since graduation. She is a tiny wee thing and used to be able to verbally browbeat me into submission, berating me with kindness until my viewpoint changed or I had adequately acknowledged her displeasure. We would go and drink mint tea, and she would frown, then cringe, then give a helpless laugh as I told her about my misadventures around college.

It still happens today of course, but I have fewer friends in London, so it's not as often. There's TV Girl, of course, who wants me to get into TV writing, and who tries to 'fix' that about me, there's VideoGirl, whom I speak with online, who I think might find me a bit of a downer sometimes, and there's Posh Friend, who recently met me in a bar with big news.

"I have two friends I want you to meet"

I enquired about the two, was told I should only ask out one. That's the way girls fix you. PF has taken up matchmaking recently, and is trying to get me to no longer be single, and doesn't like the type of girls I usually date. I think the combined mixture of years of me being single (or in and out of weird relationships) and her desire to see me mature a bit, coupled with, let's face it, boredom, does the trick.

I'm not complaining of course, because I love my friends dearly, nor am I making fun of anyone. It's just remarkable how girls can make a project of someone. Almost every girl I know tries it to some respect. It's a wonderful trope in the female being.

So, to you ladies out there. Do you ever try to 'fix' guys? I mean, is every guy a project, or are you happy for the men you know to be sad, single, stupid and scruffy?

Guys? I won't ask you the question, because you'll probably only get the answer wrong.

As ever, you can email all questions to


  1. hahaha girls who try to "fix" guys make me laugh. =) They should learn that it isn't possible, and generally is not necessary.

    Awesome ratio for you though!

  2. Funnily enough, it's the girls I'm not in relationships with that have had opinions in the past on how I should dress, live, behave -- it's the ones that really care who accept you just as you are.

  3. Omg i have so many friends who try to fix their boyfriends. I'm one of those people that you like you who you are and if I dont like it then I won't be friends with you. I've learned the harder you try to fix a guy the more he will resist the change. But I will try to help out some of my guy friends from time to time like writing a resume for them. Oh...i hope they don't thik Im trying to fix them. EEP!!

  4. lolllll.. ive prob been accused of this before....

    i dont think id try to fix u.. i ususally just try to help people...
    does that count?

    xoox come to ny and have dinner with me :(

  5. Brandy and Melanie : I know what you mean, it drives me mad haha. The resume thing is cool, but girls who try to change their boyfriends style or their friends are just ridiculous.

    NB - you better not try to fix me when we get married, I'll want to stay the same way I am. Yes, dinner would be lovely.

    James - you speak the truth guy, i'm just never IN a relationship so I don't know if that's true or not :P