Showing posts with label law. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law. Show all posts

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Ask Aunty - 1 - Law Woes.

So, a young man with whom I am quite friendly, and who is currently a law student, contacted me recently asking me for help about law school.

I had to spend several minutes wiping pesto off my tie after that I'm afraid, as upon reading the letter, the thought that someone thought me as academically advice-worthy caused me such mirth that snorted into my bucket of luncheon pasta.

Anyway, I tried to help the guy out, as he seems to have hit a rocky patch in his newfound educatia, and therefore, I launch my new column, ASK AUNTY:

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Hey Conor, I've run into a few problems this week and was wondering if you could offer me a bit of advice (no contract pun intended). I know you don't need reminding but I'm doing law up here at uni. To be honest, I've run into a few problems this week and was wondering if you could offer me a bit of advice (no contract pun intended).

In first term I did the typical student thing of messing it up a bit- the social/laziness aspect beat the academic side hands down. The January exams were a kick up the backside so my work ethic's been a lot better this term. The only thing is I don't feel I'm getting as much out of the work as I'm putting in. I'm in the library 3-4 hours daily on top of lectures but I'm just not getting the improvement I expected.

So before I get too indulgent in self pity here, it would be great if you had any tips for improving learning/information retention/concentration levels.
Yours (LEGAL GUY)

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Hey man,

First of all, don't beat yourself up. It's the silly bollocks who spend all their time in the library who end up doing badly, if that doesn't sound like an oxymoron. I was never a great shakes at study, but I managed to scrape through.

The key thing is to absolutely ignore a good 75% of what people around you say. Most of what they claim about study is bullshit, and they say things like 'OMG, I spent like 9 hours in the library...is that enough?" They're the sorts who have no lives, who play mind games (like hiding books at exam times wtf?) and who sincerely believe that class rankings matter for more than self aggrandisement.

The big thing about fact retention in Common law is the head notes of a case. Don't spend 3 hours reading some criminal judgment when all you need to know is that there's been a slight change in Judicial practice, or that the Court dynamic has changed a wee bit regarding x, y ,or z. The bare bones of a case is all you need, with maybe a memorable detail to keep it locked in there:

R v. Conor (2010) Ct Crim App.

-killed guy with novelty oversized dildo
-plead insanity
-fact had mentioned owning a dildo "just in case I need to cock that big guy up"
-premeditation
-guilty


Something like that. Then when you've got a list of a few cases per issue, or per aspect of law. Write them over and over so that you develop a free hand. Honestly, my final notes looked like a list of Star Wars robots in a lineup, and I was able, because I had intensely learned them, what they meant.

The old adage of ILAC is best once you have your bare facts down.

Issue (what's the controversy here?)
Law (current law)
Apply (application of law to facts)
Conclusion (what the court did or should do)


So:

I - a) is a rubber cock a weapon?
- b) if so, does owning it = premeditation
L - giant rubber phallus a weapon if the intention was malicious.
A - in this case "for cocking that guy" = malicious
C - was a weapon = premeditation = murder.

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The second big thing is choosing your topics. Try and get a feel for what may come up in the exams. A large percentage of what you study during the year is useless for two reasons.
1) It'll be obsolete or changed by the time you graduate or
2) It won't be examined, and you'll never use it
a) if you practice or,
b) you don't practice, which accounts for about 85% of law grads anyway,

You can prune a lot of stuff out by playing a guessing game based on trends/ the prof/ the size or detail that went into teaching it.

If you cover, sticking with the crime example, Infanticide in one lecture (which btw, from experience, is prob the one Crim Law lecture you should definitely NOT show up to drunk) and spend three weeks doing defences...

Well, it sounds obvious, but it really isn't when the chips are down. Another good way to compress or prune is to base the core of your learning on the Seminars. The lecturers have designated them as either
a) alternative time to teach you new stuff and
b) extra time to make sure you understand important stuff.

Figure out which stuff is 'B' and learn it.


The final thing is this, if you feel that you're fucked, utterly, in the arsepipe, with a rusty genital appendage from a metaphorical Truck driver of exam pain, take a look at the dribbling fuckwits in your class...the one's who can barely tie their shoes or who almost forget not to soil themselves regularly, and breathe deeply. Lavender helps for this.

Hope it helps

Aunty.
xx


ps - you can ask aunt conor yourself by contacting me thru the old blog or by emailing me - radiogael@googlemail.com :)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Happy-go-fucking-lucky McPositive and the Law Degree

SO now, at last, I officially have some vague letters after my name, denoting my learnedness in law (*stifle laughter*). Ladies and Gentlemen, please say hello to Conor B. C. Darrall, LL.B.

Thank you.


The day was the longest in a long long time. I had to get up at 3.30 am in time to get ready and drive from Derry to Dublin. Then after 19 coffees, being dressed in wizard's robes (which felt simultaneously bitchin', thrash, gnarly and awesome to wear) organising photos and saying hi to friends, we were all led into a massive hall, spoken to in Latin for about an hour, then called up to receive our catskins sheepskins. Sparky (Mark) my flatmate was there, and he received the highest mark in the class, I am very proud of him. My folks were there, looking cool and everything, and after the ceremony we got to hang around and chat to each other, and catch up with friends we hadn't seen in a half-year.

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Then the boozing. Wine for breakfast...followed by a day of drinking cosmopolitans and whiskey...for almost 18 hours.

We went on a MONUMENTAL bender, drinking in a few bars until going clubbing (still tux'd) until about 5 or 6 when I stumbled back to my hotel to greet the night. I had to get up at 10 this morning to drive back to Derry with the parents. Needless to say, I'm still feeling quite rough...

I'd been convinced that I didn't miss Trinity, or Dublin, but being back yesterday really made me glad that I'd gone there and met the people and friends I've been lucky enough to know.

So, now I'm happy, and with things going well and having a great time with the someone who I've 'kinda sorta started seeing' (she's great; smart kind and beautiful, but I'm not going to talk about her here at the moment) it's really hard to be in a bad mood.

I'm flying back to London tomorrow, then I'm going to sleep for a month.


Here are a few wee photos of the day:


Maw, Paw and I


Home-Blondie, my best friend.


Me and Spark, the flatmate. Ever increasing the persistent rumours that we're a couple.




Very very drunk at 4am in Envy Nightclub, Dublin.


Oh also, with another friend of mine (Home-Blondie and Sparkie were with me when we lived in the USA for a year, as was --) Cíara, and other friends, we had tapas before we went out. Lady GeeGaw and I (and GG's boyf, Nick, who is a cool ginger guy with dreadlocks) made a video on Grafton Street for my blog, this blog.

They are awesome, such good sports.

My camera skills are not, but here we go:





Anyway, hope you're all well.
x
Con


(ps - interesting fact about Trinity College Dublin. Only women wear mortarboard caps on the day of their graduation, the reason being because it is supposedly symbolic of the degree being a 'cap on their education', meaning they could traditionally rise no higher than an undergraduate degree. Problem with this theory is that our class was 85% female, and of the 14 people who got First class honours degrees, the was only one male amongst them -Sparky...take that chauvinism!!)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Life in the Rat Race...

The time in Kent is stressful. So very, very stressful. I don't know how I'll cope.

I flew in the usual way, collecting the usual share of arsehole molecules in my hair that is so very common with Ryanair. It began earlier than usual this time, the website crashing 24 hours before my flight so that I couldn't print out my booking. Despite my most reasoned and calm attempts to rectify this I was still charged £40 at the airport so that they could print out my muthafucking ticket.

Grrrr

I got the train down from Luton to Maidstone East and since then. It's been work work work.

An example of my horrific workload. My auntie had the fridge full of Jacques Cider, which she INSISTED that I drink, otherwise it would just sit there. I did. We sat and drank loads of cider and smoked a million cigarettes on Tuesday night. As I say; hard work.

I've got a meeting tomorrow with the Firm, to talk about what I'll do during my contract with them. In essence, I'll be organising my life until at least 2013, which is a bit trippy. From 9.30 to 5.30, I'll be attending meetings, listening to presentations about different areas of law, chatting to some partners and having lunch with them. Lots of glad-handing and charming conversation expected. We'll see... Although I had put aside time to meet a special person, I now doubt that I'll be able, unless I stay for a while... (where though?)

I'll be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to get all dolled up (or 'lolled up', from your perspective, because it's so very funny-looking) so that the lawyer types think that I'm respectable. I'll post a photo tomorrow.

The ridiculously tanned Aunt and Uncle (S&D) have been working on their garden and have just finished building a firepit...to compliment the hot tub. After some paperwork, and some humble refreshment (when I could find the time...) I had to see what it was like. I suppose it was okay.

Hopefully I'll be able to chill out tomorrow at the big law thing. Up til now I've been doing too much. If my hectic lifestyle keeps up at this pace I'll probably go mental. Or have a stress-induced heart attack. Good thing that the corporate law gig will be pretty chilled...and fun.

Until I'm besuitted tomorrow...I bid you all a good night. Wish me luck tomorrow (later today)