So, I'm trying to break into radio...

So, following the train-wreck that is my legal career, I've decided that I want to pursue a career in radio. My parents, and their incessant desire for a 'plan' for my life, have been badgering me more than a pesky badger trying to convince a fisherman to give him his fishin' worms. In other words, very badgery indeed, and rather depressing.

Parents have that great ability to summarise what you do in negative terms. It's a skill that comes with being a teacher and trying to promote constructive criticism. Sometimes though, it's just fucking annoying.

"What's the plan, son?"

"Well, I want to work for a year, maybe try and get a part-time job and try and get some work placements or experience with a radio station before enrolling in a masters next year."

"So, you plan to bum about for a year?"

(Grrrrr THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!!!)



I won't even tell you what they say when I tell them that I'd love to someday write for a career.


Anyway, I'm trying my bestest, and I'm ploughing my way through work experience applications. The stations that I applied for today are....

BBC Radio
ClassicFM
XFM
NME Radio
Capital FM
Chill
Fun Kids Radio
Heart Radio
LBC FM

...and that's just the London ones.

I also tried Jazz FM and Heat FM but unfortunately they don't take work experience folks. Smooth, non-job-giving bastards.

So, if I'm trying to get a job in radio and I'm not employable with any of these guys, then I might be slightly screwed.

Slightly? Totally.

In the pushing-Marlon-Brandon-up-a-potholed-hill-during-a-mudslide way.


Anybody have any hints or suggestions? Cos Marlon's looking hungry, and I smell of fried chicken...

Happy-Go-Fucking Lucky McPositive and the Fork in the Road...

KABLAMMO!!

That's the noise of a bad moment, a little percussive volley as my corpus callosum is rent in twain and my head explodes, brainz n' all, like an egg in a microwave.

So about 5 months ago (Monday the 12th April in fact) I wrote a piece about my ill-fated and toe-blistering initial attempt to get back into shape as part of my (woefully inadequately fulfilled) 101 things to do and haven't really written anything since.

A cynic would suggest that my pot bellied attempt to be less dough-like stopped my brain working for almost half a year, but I don't think that's the case.

Basically, I had an exam in June, but thanks to the dual forces of working two jobs, and being a lazy earfucker, I managed to fail...spectacularly. Then, after spending the summer studying...I failed again. And lost my job as a lawyer.

KABLAMMO!

So that was yesterday. Now I'm one of the 99.9999% of the world again. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing with life.

Since 2008 I've been approaching my career as a lawyer who was going to become a writer at the first opportunity. It was comforting; financial security, quite prestigious, challenging and keeping with the 'artist' bullshit scenario that we all paint about ourselves in our minds.

That's the problem. When you spend enough time convincing yourself of a fact, it becomes all too easy to see it as a truth. Now I have to rethink some other things about myself that I though were true, like being a great lover, having the physique of a gladiator, or being an original member of The Sugarhill Gang.

So cut throat corporate law is probably not for me. Small-town Atticus Finchery maybe, but not the Michael Clayton red-braces-and-Porsche-Boxter type. Some cliché is coming to mind about heat and kitchens, but it escapes me.

So what now?

I think the next stage for me is a masters degree of some sort. I've been looking at either an MA in radio production or print journalism. I want to give the writing future an actual attempt.

What do you think? Become a nicotine/adrenaline headline jock or an NPR/Radio 4 type doing radio dramas and producer 'Gardener's Question Time'? Both sound good.

The Conor(s) Show

This is a recording of my old show, The Conor(s) Show.

Initially, it started out as The Conor Show, on WLUR 91.5FM in Lexington, VA. Then, when I returned to Ireland, Conor McQuillan joined and we became The Conor(s) Show, broadcasting on Trinity FM 93.7.

A cross between a music show and a comedy news show, it ran for five months from October to March this year. This recording was our entry for the 2009 Smedia Awards, where we were runners-up in the News and Current Affairs Category.

Download it here.

Written and presented by Conor Darrall and Conor McQuillan, I am the one who speaks the most, and Conor McQ is the funny one. ENJOY!